Moving With Kids!

Moving with kids can be emotionally and logistically intense! My family has moved many times and helping kids adjust quickly to their new location has proven to be the most important part of a move 😊

Hi! I’m Amanda, your Type A Mom friend😊 I use the organizational, efficiency, and time management skills I learned while making movies in Hollywood, and my experience parenting three kids (aged 10, 8 and 4), to streamline the behind-the-scenes work of parenting and solve different modern family life issues.

Moving is a major event that many families go through sometime in their lives, and the moving process definitely requires a lot of behind-the-scenes work! Moving is on my mind because I have been talking with many friends who are moving right now – some are doing small moves a few miles away, some are doing bigger moves across a state, some are moving to a neighboring state, and some are moving across the country. It’s a big time of year to move because most families want to get to their new homes in time for their kids begin their new school year at their new school.

When making a movie there is a term called “Company Move”. This term refers to the process of packing up all the movie making equipment and relocating this equipment and the entire cast and crew to a new location where it’s all unpacked to resume filming. Every time we have moved as a family (short term to visit family for a week or more, or permanently) my husband and I call it a “Company Move” because moving locations with kids has many similarities to moving locations on a film set! On a movie set everything the crew does to set up, organize, and execute the move from one location to another is all in service of setting up the new location as soon as possible so the movie can get filming again as quickly as it can. They have pressure on them to get things up and running fast because every minute they aren’t filming the movie, it is costing the movie money. Just like a Company Move on a film set, when moving with kids, planning ahead and organizing is crucial to getting the actual move done smoothly. And, mirroring a Company Move on a movie set, all of that should be done with the goal of getting things set up for the kids as quickly as possible in the new location. The pressure parents feel during a move can be intensified if kids feel unsettled because they may act out/be emotional which won’t be helpful to getting things all settled in the new house. But, if you focus on helping the kids feel comfortable right away so they can adjust quickly then everything about the move will feel better and calmer.

I have moved our family to different permanent homes five times (!) and have been a part of many Company Moves on movie sets, so I have a lot of experience with moving! Since so many people I know are moving right now I thought that putting together my top tips for an easy landing so you can hit the ground running after a move would be helpful! These tips are also helpful when moving to a location for a week or more - like to a grandparent’s home for a long visit - since on a longer visit you definitely want the kids to feel settled quickly so that you can focus on enjoying the visit.

TOP TIPS FOR MOVING WITH KIDS

These are the most important tips that I’ve learned helps my kids adjust when we’ve moved:

1. Explain The Moving Plan: Explain and lay out the moving plan in the weeks leading up to the move to help the kids feel calmer and more in control since they’ll know what’s coming next and when. This plan can be on a wall calendar that states when boxes arrive, the date by which the boxes need to be filled, the date movers arrive, etc., or the plan can be a simple date on your wall calendar that says “moving date” so the kids can process when they will be leaving. If kids can’t read you can do a calendar that has pictures on it to help them understand the timing of the move. On the actual move day you may want to do a detailed schedule on its own piece of paper that states what time things happen and where the kids will be when the movers are working etc. Also, when phrasing the move, think of ways to make it positive – as opposed to “leave Pine Street house to go to new Oak Street house” try stating “travel to new Oak Street house” or “load up the car to go to new Oak Street house” so you aren’t emphasizing “leaving” which may feel negative to them.
2. Normalize Moving: In the week or two leading up to the move try to read books or watch shows about families moving so your kids don’t feel alone in this intense experience. You want to normalize moving and show that it often happens to many families. You can also take this time to explain when you as a child (or as an adult) moved and how it went. Starting a dialogue about the different feelings that come with a move – excited/sad/anxious – can help kids process the emotions of such a big event. A few books we’ve liked:
   1. Berenstain Bears Moving Day
   2. Daniel Tiger: Moving to the Neighborhood
   3. Little Critter: We Are Moving
   4. The Night Before Moving Day
   5. Moving House
3. Prep For Your Arrival At The New Location: In the movie business we would send out a team ahead of time to the new location to get things organized and ready for the entire cast and crew and equipment to arrive so that the unpacking and setting up would be as efficient as possible. The main thing to think about in a new location is food and how to be ready to feed everyone when you arrive. So, if you’re going to a rural area that doesn’t have Instacart, DoorDash, etc. then figure out what easy packaged goods you can order ahead of time. Two places I like to order from are Thrive or Costco. Things like oatmeal, soup, dried fruit, nut butters/sun butters and favorite snacks are easy to make without any perishable groceries you’d need to get at the market, and they help make your arrival much easier since you can eat them right away! If you’re moving to a location that has Instacart, DoorDash etc. then place your grocery order a few days ahead of the move and plan for them to arrive the same day that you do (pick your specific time so no food goes bad) - that way you’ll have food ready to eat when you arrive!

1. Give Kids Their Own Suitcases and Have Kids Pack Their Carry-Ons/Backpacks: Each of my kids has their own suitcase that is their own color. That way, they can easily spot it in the car, at baggage claim, etc. and won’t feel worried that their stuff isn’t with them. When moving, these can be filled with what clothing the kids need for their first few days in the new place so the kids can easily unpack them and feel settled and prepared for their first days in their new home. For your kids’ special items, if you put them in charge of packing their own backpacks with their favorite stuffies, books, art activities, blankets, etc. then they will feel more secure that they won’t lose them because they’ll have them with them at all times. They’ll also have them for comfort during the move and then upon arrival they can then set them up quickly in their new room!

My 3 kids (aged 10, 8, 4) with their own backpacks each packed with their special items❤️

1. Pack A Special Box: When packing your house, have the kids get involved by having them pack a box of their special stuff that won’t fit inside their suitcase or backpack (favorite toys, books, room decorations, etc.) so they know where their favorite stuff is when you arrive and they can set it up quickly. This will also help them know that their favorite items are accounted for and they can watch that box – or bring it with you – and feel like they aren’t leaving anything important behind.
2. Upon Arrival Set Up The Kids’ Rooms First: When you get to your new location, setting up the kids’ rooms first helps them have things organized how they want them to be, and also makes it easier for you to see if there is something missing and you need to find it before the chaos of the first bedtime in a new location. Doing this first will help everyone feel calmer and ready for bedtime in the new home!
3. Spend Time In The Kid’s New Room: Once you’ve set up your kid’s new room, spend time in it to help them get comfortable in the new house. IF you want to have a new toy waiting for them in there to welcome them, that is always a fun thing that they love and it can help associate good things with the room and the move, but it isn’t totally necessary. The point is for the kids to spend time in the room getting to know the space and to make it their own so they have a space inside the new home that they can feel comfortable in while the rest of the house is being unpacked. Also, when it’s time to sleep in there, their room will be familiar to them!
4. Plan The First Day In Your New Location Before You Arrive: Something that can really help kids adjust to a move is the day after you arrive, explore the new area to get excited about being there. Make an itinerary of things to do like visit a fun park, go to the library to check out books, meet up with friends if you know people there, find a restaurant that everyone in the family will like, etc. A well-planned first day can really help everyone immerse themselves in the new environment and have a great outlook on what fun times lie ahead now that this is their new location (as opposed to missing where they just came from).
5. Create A Photo Album: Create a photo album for each kid filled with their favorite people and places from their old home so they can find comfort in seeing familiar things while they adjust to the new location. My kids loved having their own album and during the first year in a new place they’d always go back to their album to look at it and talk about places and people with me. To create these albums I use the photos off my phone – nothing elaborate needed! It helps remind them of where they used to live and the happy times they had there, which has given them joy when working through complicated moving emotions.
6. Fortify Yourself: Two major things to note is that even though moving is very emotionally taxing, when around your kids try to make sure you are grounded emotionally because the kids will mirror your feelings, and also, make sure to bring many snacks because that will help keep up everyone’s energy (and moods) during any hiccups that may occur on moving day!

I’ve found that if you can help the kids adjust quickly to their new location, but not erase the time they spent in their previous location, then everything about the move and starting to live in your new location goes much smoother for everyone. I hope that if you have a move coming up that this list helps you streamline adjusting and settling into your new place!

❤️, Amanda, your Type A Mom friend